We laughed at the silliness of it. As a kid’s camp counselor, it was amusing to note how the behaviors of children radically mimicked the mood swings and facial expressions of their parents. If parents had a known phrase or look of frustration, their kids would default to that exact phrase and glance when they got in a mood. If a parent were energetic and vibrant, their child would mimic the same vitality and joy. This dynamic of resorting to a default emotional home or behavior is the Biblical idea of “abiding.”

As John Mark Comer writes in Practicing the Way, “All of us are abiding. The question isn’t, Are you abiding? It’s, What are you abiding in? All of us have a source we are rooted in, a kind of default setting we return to. An emotional home. It’s where our minds go when they’re not busy with tasks, where our feelings go when we need solace, where our bodies go when we have free time, and where our money goes after we pay the bills. We will make our home somewhere; the question is “Where?” And this matters because whatever we “abide” in will determine the “fruit” of our lives, for good or for ill.

If we are rooted in the infinite scroll of social media, it will form us, likely into people who are angry, anxious, arrogant, simplistic, and distracted. If we are rooted in the endless queues of our streaming platforms of choice, they will form us too, likely into people who are lustful, restless, and bored, never present to what is…

If we are rooted in the pursuit of hedonism—another drink, another toke, or another hookup to take the edge off the pain and let us find a moment’s peace—that will form us as well, likely into people who are compulsive, addictive, and running from our pain and, simultaneously, our healing. Insert examples ad nauseam.

But if we are rooted in the inner life of God…that will also form us. It will slowly grow the “fruit of the Spirit” in our life: “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Where is your emotional home?”